The Programmer to Carpenter Pipeline

2025-03-09

My guy....Sup. 👋🏿

Before he passed, my dad used to say that people who worked with their minds relaxed with their hands. And I took that personally. It's 100% true.

There's a particular type of hand relaxing that youtubers do, especially when they think they camera's aren't rolling and it's not what you're thinking about.

The name they have for this profession is, Maker.

What a sterile and annoyingly accurate name for the craft.

3D Printing, Woodworking, Metalworking, CAD Software, Electronics, Welding, Blacksmithing, CNC Machining, Leatherworking, Ricing, all of these things that I could take out of a skill book in Runescape fall into that disgusting bucket that we call Maker. But what else were we gonna call it???

Engineers, Craftsmen, Creatives, and Artists be damned! You're a Maker now!

There's something almost transecndant about sitting down in front of insert creative project here and slowly chipping away at not only the material, but also your lifespan. It's Magical.

Zen.

Meditative.

Almost like you should be using a power tool instead of the hand tools that the old guy at the wood supply shop said you "HAVE" to use. But you know what? That old guy is right. Not about that rant about not being able to trust your wife, but about using hand tools.

If you're relaxing with your hands, doesn't it make sense to wither away on your project? Eternally taking time to measure that cut on your band saw that you just can't bring yourself to make?

"Oh but the wood is so expensive!"

That's the excuse I use, write your favorite in the comments.

That was a joke, there are no comments.

Occasionally during this time of relaxation, I have to wait on xyz process to complete. Leather that needs to soak overnight. Glue that needs to dry... overnight. Concrete that needs to cure...damn man it take's a while innit?

Dreams of Industry

During this time, when I stare languidly at the ceiling, pondering the important questions in life, like why that guy really didn't like his wife, I occasionally ask myself how I ended up in the position where I rolled out of bed on my day off, to do manual labor. I have friends that would kill for a cushy work from home or cubical hell office job. And then, there I was, daydreaming about sharing sandwiches with the boys on a jobsite. Asking some guy named Benny if he secured the joist.

I do not know what that means but it sounds cool.

Getting yelled at by our supervisor for slacking off and reminding us that there's a housing crisis and if we don't finish this bid in 4 months, even at the cost of the house's structrual integrity, that we could lose our job to the gasp Mexicans?!

The sudden stress snaps me out of the romance of sharing a sandwich with the boys and back into planning the 18th side project that I need for my main project to actually function.

I watch a more than one machinist on Youtube and half of his entire schtick is that he's stuck in a side project that's a branch of a side project. An eternal hell composed of copper stock and tool steel. Another 2mm difference that's caused by gravity's shackles pulling down on the stock. Another cutting tip, torn apart by rotational forces that one could mistake for a ever consuming black hole. The maw of machinery that threatens to steal the limbs of anyone who comes close.

Any red blooded man making jokes at his wife's expense will tell you, you MUST respect your tools in the shop. The day you go in, doing something you've done 2000 times before, is the day you lose something that you can never get back. Why can't they just say they cut off their finger doing a routine cut? Why does it have to be so fucking dramatic?

I've been scared straight for sure. There's a list of machines that I will never ever buy, and I'd consider it an attack on me if anyone tried to force me. You don't want to see Luther's Self Defense in action when you get me too close to the jointer. Table saw? More like, Stop That, or something. Router? Nah, I think I'll just sand that down. Angle Grinder? Idk it doesn't look bad, but I hear horror stories about the sparks flying around full face shields so I guess I just won't.

There's a lesson somewhere in there that's like, be brave. Use the dangerous power tools. Leave your primitive ways behind.

How about, No?

There's a consequence to growing up in the generation that's been exposed to the internet before the safety rails were put on. Though, you could argue that even now, the internet is still the wild west, I've been exposed to horrific things that a normal civilian of a first world country would not normally see! Oh joy! I won't describe this stuff or the webring will take me for my foams, but I'm plenty aware of how bad things can go.

For something that's supposed to just be my method of relaxation and zen rather than a business where I'm being paid tens of thousands of dollars to make yet another fucking epoxy table, that trade off just ain't worth it.

I say all of that, but then I only recently found out that you're not supposed to be breathing in those solder fumes. So who am I to talk?

Yo, check this out ->

Isn't it pretty? That is one of my favorite types of wood right there. Purple Heart. It's purple now, but it gradually fades into a distinct and dark Walnut shade over time as it's exposed to air.

I think there was a type of sealant you could use to keep it purple for longer, but eventually it will turn back into normal colored wood. Whenever I run into an issue during work, like a div not centering because I mistyped the class name, or when a project hits a brick wall because it's using a dependancy for some old ass and not updated plugin that makes graphs, or when I have to look at code that Prettier can't format correctly, my mind flashes to Purple Heart Wood.

Like a trauma response.

And I feel calm. I know that after I recommend a complete and total rewrite of this project for the 10th time and get told that it's not worth it because the amount of time we'd save starting over couldn't be the same as the amount of time we spend parsing through unformatted PHP, I can come home and look at this wood on my 1440p monitor.

Because wood is too fucking expensive.

This isn't even the worst one.

Wood, from the Million Dollar Tree. Ebony. I saw the price for a plank of this and my soul directly walked out of my body. He put on his hat, grabbed his suitcase and said he was going to the store for some cigarettes. There's no fucking way it's 600 bucks for 1 BOARD.

I know my place. I respect the price. They aren't wringing that cash out of my ass. Let some other chump get caught out over some black wood.

I'm black enough, thank you very much.

In the meantime, my friend insists that 3D printing is the future after showing me some of the ugliest and most layerlined models I have ever seen in my fucking life.

"You just gotta sand it bro."

After I inhale even more microplastics that will make the valves of my heart stutter and die, I will still be hovering over my 3D printed mess, using a bit of sandpaper on a stick to get inbetween the worst creases and crevices since Jason tried to stuff that body into a suitcase.

Then I'll get fed up and try to use a Dremel, but the RPM will be too high and I'll sand right through the fucking surface into the gritty and melted ABS on the inside.

Or I could Resin Print. Using GALLONS of Iso Alcohol to clean the god damned things, and then I can put them on my shelf and stare at them as they gather dust.

"Oh what's that? A Funko Pop?" "N-No... it's a Grey Knight from W-" "A what now? Is that a new Funko Pop?" "Y-Yeah. It is." "Wow, what a loser!"

I can't win!

I could yap about this forever, but I don't wanna.

Anyways, I have a Gregtech modpack to finish up and then I want to actually do a Rustlings exercise because I've slacked off like hell on that. Also chains are expensive as hell bro I might just put some sandbags on my weights and call it good.

Take it easy~ | Luther✌🏿